Self pre-evalutaion

My first step was evaluating the damage, critically looking at my torso, arms and legs for the first time in a year I became very angry with how far I'd allowed myself to slip. Looking back in horror on my eating habits, even if I decided not to work out did I have to quadruple the suggested servings. I was fueling myself with gravy boats, cheese, and junk food with great excess. I was the walking garbage disposal and every amount crammed into the fridge and cabinets was devoured with great urgency by yours truly.
Well no more, even if I don't get the gym time like I want the eating is going to have to change. With an elevated sense of concern for my health I spoke to my wife (who is a hot Yoga instructor.) She was ecstatic that she wasn't the only nutrition conscious person in the house anymore.
It was a cold January in 2010, Obama had been in office for just over a yea, the news networks were making it a point to just how little change had happened. I dismissed all the negative vibes the world had to offer and set my mind to the new year. My son was due in February, I had just started my new job in the IT field, and I was determined to burn the tires off of my waste.
My first time running without being required to in more than 2 years. My goal was to adhere to the US Army standards for my age group and complete 2 miles in less than 16 minutes and 36 seconds. Within a mile I was profusely angry at myself I had absolutely no stamina, I charged through in the battle of my life my legs felt like I had climbed flight after flight of stairs. My heart was putting it's resume together, and there wasn't an ounce of blood to spare for my brain. I had to stop running, and turned around unbelievably frustrated I was not able to go beyond a mile and a half. It was at this point I pondered if it there was substantial medical evidence that running could spontaneously produce asthma.
I got back to the house, puzzled I could not run a mile without fear of taking an involuntary nap on the mean streets of Atlanta. The good news is at my rate of speed, if I would have finished I would have only failed by 3 minutes.
To further evaluate myself I stuck with the US Army standards and did pushups until I met muscle failure. Regulation gave me two entire minutes to complete as many as I could do. Luckily I only needed one to do all 49 until my arms gave out. Collapsing to the ground I took the opportunity to roll over and do 2 minutes of situps. I did surprisingly well for the first 40 seconds, I had managed to do a good 45 in just 45 seconds. I took the other 1 minute 20 seconds to crank out a very painful dozen situps.
I officially knew just how big of a piece of crap I was, 190 useless lbs of air pollution.